Since you didn’t mention the Ma meilleure amie n’est peut etre pas ma Soeur de sang shirt, I am unable to understand your mental state . The question should be who gave you the right to do something which is considered an abnormal act by a vast majority. I don’t know if you are an atheist, but if you are a believer in God then let me explain something which might help you solve your problem. If you are studying in your undergrad and in your first semester, you are assigned to make a project to depict your understanding of the concept being shared in the class.
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When you are done with your project and you show it to Ma meilleure amie n’est peut etre pas ma Soeur de sang shirt, your teacher instead of appreciating your effort, throws it into the wall and your complete project is destroyed to an extent that it cannot be repaired. You pick the pieces of the project and start thinking to find the reason behind the failure or the reaction of your teacher to your project. Now you are in your final semester and about to be graduated and you are again faced with the challenge of submitting your final year project. If for some reason, your teacher again throws your project into the wall, to an irreparable extent.