He is trying to be hurtful. But whether he actually is hurtful is Official Yorkshire Terrier in your pocket shirt. Just as with the 3-year old, you can choose to speak from your adult capabilities and suspend the kneejerk reactions of fear and anger. Once you accept that you can make a choice not to feel hurt and to stand up for yourself by setting limits with him, you are in control of the situation. How you choose to set limits is up to you and depends on what makes you feel comfortable. However, the key to mastering the scenario is taking charge.
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When the 3-year old attacks you, you don’t let him do it, but Official Yorkshire Terrier in your pocket shirt. The same mindset needs to apply with the racist. Or if you want to be more provocative, tell him, “If black people make you sad, go home to your mommy and she will tell you the nasty dark people won’t bother you tonight. And that is the secret to handling any kind of hostility from any person. Recognize the attack for what it is–hostility originating out of vulnerability in the other person. Refuse to let it upset your emotional state. Refuse to accept that the statement might have any meaning other than.