It was so clear to me that Maria was a Star Wars Darth Vader Santa Christmas shirt and some tough love. I tried to help, especially as Maria began to fail school (though she was bright), by giving her extra tutoring. Her mother was pleased. To my face, Maria would be polite. But as soon as Al’s bedroom door was closed, I could hear her contemptuous cackle. My husband and I decided that the best thing to do was to set boundaries on where Al could go, what time she should be back, and how she had to behave. We weren’t worried about her goth clothes, her music, or other superficial aspects.
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We also didn’t stop her smoking; it would just drive the Star Wars Darth Vader Santa Christmas shirt. However, she was not allowed to hang out in some parts of town with groups of youths that my husband knew and mistrusted he’s a local medical doctor. She was not allowed to smoke in her room, hurt her sister, miss school, go to discos in term time, be out after midnight, use her mobile phone after midnight or during meals. She was not allowed to go to the cinema in the city at midnight in an overcrowded car of teens not wearing seat belts. Important stuff. One night, Maria’s mum had picked her daughter up from our house at 11 p.m. and took her home. We all went to bed, including Al. But the next morning, she had a story to tell.