I also can’t stand to have The Los Angeles Dodgers road signature shirt. My security level is STILL through the roof. I always have an aggressive combination of punches lined up in my mind for any one moving toward me. I think it shows in my face as people still tend to avoid being near me even out here. I have this look, my wife tells me, that makes people think I am unstable. I have tried again and again to wash that look off my face, but it’s almost impossible. Most people think I’m paranoid, but I was in that place with a bunch of guys who, like me, have done or were involved in some really crazy and sick shit.
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So I spontaneously keep my guard up at The Los Angeles Dodgers road signature shirt. I am still super hyper-vigilant. When I enter a crowded place I almost see everything at once. My head is on a constant swivel (just in case), and I still can’t help watching pockets and hands. I can’t get a job. I don’t necessarily have a problem with people telling me what to do, it’s when they treat me like an underling. Or when they speak “down” to me. Or insist on speaking to me in a very disrespectful way. Even if I don’t know much and have much to learn, I have an expectation of being treated respectfully by anyone and everyone I come into contact with. Unfortunately, I have learned that out here in society, “respect” isn’t very high up on most people’s list.